At this point, the IEDC doesn’t seem like an agency. It’s more like an intern got the keys to the Indiana Statehouse and opened the file the Worst Ideas of 2025. And Citizens Energy? Bless their hearts. They saw the chaos and said, “Put us in, coach, we can make this even dumber.”
The new plan?
Just threatening hundreds of homeowners with lawsuits so they can pump water across half the state to Lebanon’s futuristic LEGO set, the LEAP district a place with the water supply of a stale pretzel.
I’m not saying the IEDC doesn’t know what they’re doing…
Well. Actually yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.
Citizens Energy: “We promise your bill won’t go up.”
Right. And I promise I won’t eat gas station pizza ever again.
Both statements are lies — one just smells worse.
They’re sinking $700 million into pipes, pumps, and lawsuits.
IEDC Logic:
Step 1: Build a business park with no water.
Step 2: Act shocked when people ask, “Hey… what about water?”
Step 3: Panic.
Step 4: Start stealing other counties’ water like a thirsty raccoon.
Step 5: Pretend this is “economic development.”
What’s next?
IEDC takes our cornfields for “emergency parking”?
Citizens Energy reroutes the Tippecanoe River into Carmel because someone at a meeting said it’d “look nice”?
Homeowners are getting letters that basically say: “Sell us your yard, or we’ll take it anyway. Love, the people you pay every month.”
Citizens Energy: “We’re committed to transparency.”
Also Citizens Energy: cuts down your trees at 6 AM while you’re still in pajamas.
The IEDC, explaining the plan with a straight face:
“We’re doing this because Lebanon needs water for high-tech businesses.”
Translation:
“We promised a bunch of corporations something we don’t actually have, and now we’re panicking like a Best Buy employee on Black Friday.”
Lebanon always says they’re ‘growing fast.’
Yeah. So does mold.
And at least mold knows how to thrive without stealing water from four counties.
The IEDC is basically a toddler with a crayon and a billion-dollar checkbook. Citizens Energy is the babysitter turning up the radio so they don’t hear the kid drawing on the walls.
And the residents?
They’re the walls.